Thick lush fur
Black, silky
Long enough to wrap my milky
Fingers round and
Press in close
And drink with sighs
My shaman dose.
His claws were made
From ebony mirrors
His eyes great bowls
Where water quivers
I know where I am and
Have come to accept
A truth, candor
for which I wept.
Oh! My heart leapt
At knowledge rare
How to tame
My spirit bear.
– 31.03.08
Hath and has
“The truth which once had made me weep”
Temptation to use the softer extended Hath, but it doesn’t work. Looks like it’s been tortured into submission. Really love your poetry by the way – you have such a great musicality and word sense/ word aesthetic. Beautiful.
If you are going to keep wept, you are going to have to make it work grammatically.
Thick lush fur
Black, silky.
Long enough to wrap my milky
Fingers round and
Press in close
And drink with sighs
My shaman dose.
His claws were made
From ebony mirrors
His eyes great bowls
Where water quivers.
I know where I am,
Drawing ignorance neigh
As clothes
Lest truth came, by and by
Ah! Should I sigh
At knowledge rare;
How to tame
My spirit bear.
– 31.03.08
Like the first version.