I lived in a land of sleeping beauties. I dared not walk lest their slumber be broken. In the quiet, my heart rapped out a war tattoo rising and falling with their chests. To be asleep would be to slip into a perfect world but my obsession with dreams held my senses, prickling, to a knife. I admired the lines of their closed lids. I perfectly awake, they perfectly asleep, an innocence in their air as only the state of unconsciousness can create. Perhaps the whole world slumbered, the silence was so. And I the only one to observe the beauty in fake death.

6 Responses to “House of Pretty Sleepers”

  1. 1 gillian August 9, 2008 at 5:02 am

    “seeming” death
    “tapped” out a war tattoo
    “sleeping beautys, not beauty’s
    Fantastic…Love this, it’s so full of mood, promise of so much more, big images, archetypes, dreams etc.

  2. 2 gillian August 10, 2008 at 11:04 am

    Still think the fake? death jars. Would be interested in the reason for your choice.

  3. 3 El August 10, 2008 at 11:10 am

    well death does jar.It’s exactly how i felt at the time. It catches in the throat, even though the rest is sweeter.

  4. 4 Rozzi August 16, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    plural of beauty? beauties

    I think we dont get the death bit because its not evident until the end that your obsession lets say between the worlds of awake and asleep are about death, I’m interested in the first sentence, lived in a world sugests a continued state, yet the piece conveys a moment in time to me. or at least an event rather than a world.

  5. 5 gillian August 19, 2008 at 11:07 am

    With the sleeping beauty thing – I saw it as a reference to Sleeping Beauty for some reason. Not simply beauties who are asleep. That’s why I suggested the beautys, so there’d still be that connection to the fairy tale. The beauties loses the reference and of course it depends on your intention. If you wanted the reference to be apparent, you would begin the two words with capitals. I would see this poem as the last on or nearly last.

  6. 6 caitos September 6, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    Eloise!! this one is my fav so far!!!
    its amazingly accurate dont you think, the bit about the innocence someone sleeping, very angelic
    I like your brain

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